I am a lover of honesty and raw-ness. I have to say that it is tough to be in the photography business when you are a true lover of honesty and raw-ness when a lot of the market is based on physical image or even altering your natural beauty to fit whatever the world sees as more attractive. With all of the technology that we as photographers have to edit our photos, it's easy to get caught in the trap.
*Moment of honesty: When I first learned how to use all the wonders of photoshop, I literally looked for a picture of a woman that had what I thought was the perfect body type and tried to put my head on her body. Then I hit the revert to original button because I couldn't get our skin tones to match.
Talk about a low moment. Seeing my body double in size? Ouch.
After shamelessly comparing myself to someone half my size, I thought to myself "how would I feel if I were to try to put another woman's head on a skinny body?" and I was mortified! I don't view people like that so why was I stooping so low with myself?
After that, I started looking at myself with a little more respect. I started to see the light and beauty in everyone around me.
A common thought that's been bouncing around in my head lately is "what makes you different than all of the other DIY photographers out there trying to make a buck?" For the longest time I could never answer that question straight up, which is why it probably kept re-bugging me.
A few days ago, I made the most important discovery of inspiration I've ever had in my life, especially my professional life. I found a blog about a woman, who also happens to be a photographer, and her family of 6 who packed up the essentials and lived out of a trailer as they drove all over the country doing photo shoots. She, like so so many of us, got caught up in living in the best neighborhood with the best school for her kids, all while living in a home that was drowning them financially. She sold her house and everything (almost everything) they owned to start over with the absolute basics. No neighbors to outdo or two-faced friends to impress, just family and photography. Her name is Joy, which is a very fitting name if you ask me.
Joy is so inspirational to me as I read her story and when I saw her photography for the first time, I just wanted to cry out "Yes!! She knows what's important! She knows how to truly capture the moment in a way I only thought possible in my heart and now I know what my inspiration is!" Her photography is all about storytelling and connecting with someone on a personal level, and making dear friends along the way.
That is how I want to interact with people, not as a dollar sign or a paycheck, but as close friends. I'm not a business woman. If I wanted to be one, I would have stayed in school and made a living making a lot more money. That has never been my endeavor, but I fear I got trapped into what I saw everyone else doing with their photo business that I didn't know how to make the difference!
Well here I am, making the difference! I love photography. I love the art in a frozen moment in time, especially when that moment is in a special relationship or a special time in a person's life. There is something magical about memory making and even more magical about creating an image that perfectly reflects the raw emotion in that moment.
My clear photography focus from now on is to be a storyteller. Now that I am feeling more comfortable with the technicalities of photography, now I'm excited to tackle what's really important and that is a purpose behind the photos taken. My purpose is to show people how beautiful they are, even in sweatpants and messy buns. My purpose is to capture what a baby's belly laugh looks like to his mother and how whimsical the world is in the eyes of a little girl. My purpose is to let people be who they really are and stand back and soak it all in, because that is what really matters.
I know that photos of my own boys where they are covered head-to-toe in spaghetti or markers may not be wall worthy to a lot of people, but others' definition of wall worthy photos may mean a miserable hour full of bribery and not so memorable moments to me.
I owe so many people a thank you and some others an apology. Thank you to those who chose me to be their photographer! And I'm sorry to those i photographed when I didn't have a clear vision of who I really was as a photographer. No matter what, I am beyond grateful for all of those who helped me get to where I am today and you've inspired me to be original.
Thanks for reading this ridiculously long, yet important post. :)
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